Drawing

Three drawings in a relaxing afternoon at the American Museum of Natural History with Chris Muller. It was unbelievably nice just to sit and draw, and even better from sharing the afternoon with such a wonderful person. A Protoceratops, an owl and a Bison. It was only on the first drawing of the day, the Protoceratops skull, that I did any preliminary sketches. i wa

s loose and tried to just let myself draw without getting too anal. I did about a page of rough sketches, then settled into the big one. For the other two drawings, I just did big ones.

Troilus and Cressida

One act. Three scenes. Eleven actors, plus one for voice over and five people that dropped. A tent, a six pack, a manilla envelope. A black curtain and four chairs, pulled from the audience.

What I did? Scenes one and three were about a drunk soldier (and his buddy) in a tent, his commander(s), and some other guys....though you honestly weren't sure what they were all about, because their line readings were totally unclear. Suffice it to say, you could tell this guy in the tent was important, was special, was needed by other people...and had no particular desire to comply with anyone's wishes. We made some good choices, and maybe did what we could with it without completely cutting both scenes. Scene two was a long-winded brother, who had maybe also been drinking and three well spoken brothers. And a woman who didn't seem too crazy to me. But they had class. All of them. And took themselves and their position seriously.

What I should have done? NOT told the guys in the tent they could drink the beer. Had someone be Agamemnon live from a phone downstairs. Rehearsed the second scene at least ONE MORE TIME! But maybe more importantly.... not done as much and done what I did do, better. Which is funny. I don't want to say I "should" have done this. But this was another option, and while I don't think I would have done this time differently, I would indeed do it differently next tme. I think for myself I need to have the experience of making my "crazy" (exciting) ideas come alive, and that will take all of our collective energy. SO it requires people who are behind the idea ( which limits the number of people available) and really making sure we land on the idea. What I keep hearing myself saying is that I know I can teach acting, i know I can get people to say the lines right. So if i believe that, its that much MORE important that I be pushing the things that set my directorial work, my holistic ideas, apart from other people.

But I wholeheartedly believe that I made the decisions that led to last night purposefully. And I learned alot about myself and about the piece because of it. And that is what I wanted. I experienced authentic failure, and it felt so good.

thots

thinking about: taking a month off from buying things.... thinking about decreeing I will not buy ANY xmas presents (but will make them instead -- which nessesitates a degree of usefulness or very beautiful craft) .... thinking about designing Xmas card.....SOON!

tiger-hippo

for marion.....

lowell's egg

no photo availabe but i know in my heart i did it....

blue table

[pictures to follow]

wedding certificate

mixed media on paper. Pre-signatures. For Andrew and Anna's wedding in Austin!

15 years plus 6 [working title]

idea: a museum exhibit of my relationships with alex and with kate, culminating in an offshoot room of their relattionship (without me) -- possibly roped off or onted as "site undr construction". Each item in the exhibit ( which would run chronologically and maybe the room including alex's exhibit has to branch off kate's room at the appropriate time ( or JOIN kate's room). each item/photo/video/artifcat/ audio tape should be labled as it would by a curator. Thee's should be an audio tour. It should be real when possible, and invented when necessary. And after ido this, maybe it will help me put it all behind me, one way or another.

Project Grants

I need to start drafting a proposal for a specific project. The NYFA website is always giving me options for grants and or residencies to apply for, but I have no " application". So what do I want to do?

I thought about applying for a version of my Blood Wedding...but what texts (etc) are interesteing to me. I feel the need to be creating my own art if Im going to remain in NY.

What do I love:
radio lab
this american life (human stories interwoven, told in an interesting manner...)

just realizing watching kurosawa's dreams: what it means to be a leader. It is far easier to tell someone else they are wrong when they are leading you, than to be the brave one leading. and yet, someone always has to lead.

i dont feel any connection to a greater wise community i was born into. Maybe that is because i haven't listened to it. ( think of the baby shower). i have been so long gone from the community i was born into that i look down my nose at it. maybe its time to open my eyes and see it anew.

how could this manifest itself? at least in the short term?

a window display at chashama